The debate about ‘the perfect woman‘ rages on throughout history, differing from culture to culture. Conditioning by the Western media fosters the perception that the perfect sized woman is a size zero. While there are some women who are naturally tiny, for most women, maintaining this impossible level of “beauty” means she rarely eats (or gets to enjoy her food), looks permanently ill, and interestingly, rarely smiles! For almost 50% of the world, this look is entirely unappealing and undesirable. This demographic prefers a much curvier physique – a woman of size 0 would be their idea of the least attractive woman. So who is correct..?!
To maintain the tiny size zero takes a lot of effort for most women, unless it’s the girl’s natural state. Which is rare. Girls find themselves afraid to eat in order to avoid criticisms of weight gain. They’re putting themselves under enormous pressure to the ‘perfect’ size. (Or what they’ve been conditioned is ‘the perfect size’ by their culture.) but is this a natural, healthy, enjoyable way to live…? Would you want your daughter to live with such emotional and mental anguish, such physical stress and discomfort, just to look a way that is unnatural for her, but that makes everyone else comfortable…? Seems a little off, doesn’t it?
The truth is, most men like woman to have a few curves! Often the female vision of ‘perfect’ and the male version of ‘perfect’ are many lbs apart! The desirability of this varies from man to man, culture to culture. Some men prefer slim curvy, others like Marilyn Monroe curvy. Some like curvaceous bordering on the overweight, and some actually prefer a larger plus-sized woman. The woman who looks great in the clothes is not necessarily the woman who feels nice to feel close to. The women men like to look at, the women they like to actually be with, are very often different.
If one doesn’t eat properly, one’s immune system can’t operate efficiently. Organs are depleted of nutrients, and the functions of the body are ineffective. Have you ever been on an expensive date and watched your girlfriend move a salad around a plate? That’s no fun! Where is the passion and sensual gusto of a woman who likes food? Everyone knows one’s appetite for food is a reflection of one’s appetites for other things. Perhaps her energy is too low from not enough calories to function! The atmosphere will most certainly be strained as your date tries not to bring attention to herself and her lack of appetite. When, truthfully, she’s probably starving! (You can almost hear her stomach grumbling now…)
The real question is – what do you like? Luckily, we are all different, but don’t succumb to the media message that only skinny women are beautiful. If you like big girls, then date big girls. It is terribly sad to see a man with secret girlfriends on the side, so he can actually enjoy himself, while dating or marrying an ‘appropriate’ women that will please others. It is unfair to her, and to himself. But this is the power insecure people give others. Or the power they give the public when it concerns his career. Each to their own…
Psychologically, men like girls with big breasts and large hips, as this signifies that they will produce healthier offspring, and be able to care for them more efficiently; she is seen to be stronger and more capable. Without realizing it, you are looking for signs of fertility and health. Much like the woman’s biological urge to seek a man who can provide for and protect her.
Kim Kardashian and JLo for example are known for their ample derrieres – which finally signifies a shift in media messages to real life assets. At the end of the day, you need to date girls that you want to be with, and don’t judge them on their size. Whether she puts on weight or loses it, she is still the same woman underneath. The one who will be there for you and share your dreams and fears.
Of course a healthy woman is desirable, a fit and strong woman is sexy and attractive on many levels. But her actual size and shape is a personal preference. We can only do so much with what we’re born. And some women prefer to tend the house than go to the gym. Some women prefer to make their man a healthy delicious dinner than spend that hour walking. It’s all about priorities.
Someone who isn’t obsessed with their weight will be more fun to be with and more relaxed. And certainly in a better mood! We all have a ‘type’, that we find more attractive. But make sure your type is yours, and not what the media/ your family/ your colleagues tells you it should be.
Superficial and shallow characteristics aren’t the recipe for a long lasting relationship. Or even for satisfactory temporary dates. Like an unhappily married man pretending he is happy, you will be lying to yourself and suffering unnecessarily, robbing yourself of the wonderful times you could be enjoying! Life is too short to spend it catering to others’ ideas of what your life should be. Do and be what YOU love, what you genuinely want to. The only person you owe an explanation to is yourself. So be authentic with yourself. Look for a girl who makes you happy, who is fun to be with – then you won’t go far wrong. And that is the perfect size girl for you :)